Life.

Back to blogging! Wanted to for a while but can't fight procrastination. Nevertheless, I'm back! Penning down my daily rantings so that I can understand my own thoughts. I think I don't really know what I am thinking unless I write everything down. And also so that I have something to reminisce when I'm older! Maybe I can share with my grandchildren hahaha! Provided I have any.

Went out for late night movie at JP and stayed over at Jackie's hall. Totally tired now.

Found out some things. So out of the few dates I went on, there was one guy that I was interested in. Let's call him q. So q was probably interested in the first place but gave up half way because our frequency don't match. And our views probably don't match. So our messages always ended up with me being pissed off by him or just died off somewhere. I always thought that he was hiding something like was acting like someone different and has not revealed all of himself which makes me want to find out more. Maybe he isn't after all. And I thought everything was leading to no where and was pointless so I stopped trying. But it's different when you hear it from someone else and mentioned randomly. Totally awkward and affected for a bit. Feels kind of rejected but nothing much to be affected when there was nothing in the first place. The sprouts haven't even grown from the seed.

And he's texting my good friend! I guess nothing wrong that they are starting a new friendship and knowing each other. Maybe he's the one for her. Haha but sour plum for a bit.

So random thought!
It's so difficult to find someone that you can feel attracted to, relate to and talk to about everything under the sun. Have been feeling like a wallflower beside all my more vocal, confident and sophisticated friends.

Well there are more than 7 billion of human beings trotting this earth and maybe there's someone out there. However, whether I will ever get to meet this someone is uncertain. Maybe I will never get to meet the one. Maybe I'm going to stay alone which is fine as well, I guess. The idea of being alone for the rest of my life don't seem too intimidating for me now. Of course, on the positive side, maybe I will meet this person.

Back to other parts of my life!

New pimple growing on the exterial of the nose near the left nostril. Hahaha totally painful and weird.

Work wise, still as boring because there are no specific tasks assigned and everything is direction-less. I define my own job scope and work. Sounds challenging and fun and I'm free to flaunt my ability but I lost the drive long ago, especially when all the times when I try to bring in something new and my boss is not keen. Maybe I didn't put in enough effort to make my stand and I didn't bring up enough reasons to convince him. And when the management disagree with me. Still I set some goals to put in place certain things. Got to finish doing up the JDs and hopefully employment contract by the end of this month. Slowly putting things in place. Next month I can look into utilizing the MHC panel, convince my boss again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm suitable for HR. Considering the fact that I'm not very meticulous with work and I'm not very firm and strict with handling people and also I'm not even a good role model to the other employees. So another goal is to change this part of me. Try to be more careful with work and have to stop being the nice girl all the time. Put some discipline into the workplace. Trying as much as possible to help while I am still with the company.

So the plan I had still stay. Tendering my resignation in December and leave in January. And I can start my 2-3 months travel. The period will depend on the budget I have but I'm thinking it will be hard to hit 3 still haven't save up much yet. I should start looking into my expenses to save up. I'm looking at Eastern Europe. The whole idea of travelling alone is still intimidating to me but I have to do this. If I can find free souls to travel with me for that period, I will. If not, I would have to do it myself.

Fear is imaginary! Fear is an illusion! Fear is a bitch! Not going to stop me!